Manafonistas

Brilliant series. Eight episodes, great acting, damned great acting. I guess when people say “no offence” it’s usually followed by “but” and something rude or offensive, and Mr Abbott is no exception. And so it goes – hahaha, nooo, eurgh, hahaha, not always in that order. To the job then, a refreshingly un-PC Manchester cop shop, where DC Dinah’s boss is DI Vivienne Deering (the very ace Joanna Scanlan) who’s freshening up with sprays – both breath and down there. But she mixes them up, of course … nooo, eurgh, hahaha, give us a kiss, Detective Inspector. DI Deering should nick herself, for stealing the show. Her best line: “They couldn’t find a clit without a search engine.” Abbott has always had an eye for an excellent lady part, so to speak.

 

The toilet is the place where most of the important stuff takes place – meetings, humour, etc – though for a laugh they go down to the mortuary, where a Chinese woman with a history of bestiality is on the slab, with a small dog stuck down her throat after a car accident. Interesting x-ray. Among all the fun there is actually a case, and a plot. Young women with Down’s syndrome (no, there are no no-go areas for No Offence) are going missing and getting murdered; three so far. Actually two; the third, Cathy, hasn’t got Down’s – “not a mong”, in DI VD’s words. But she was riding up front in a double-decker bus that did an emergency stop, and she ended up with fractures and swellings that DC Dinah mistook for an extra copy of chromosome 21. And if Dinah can make the mistake, who’s to say a serial killer can’t, too?

 

Anywhere else that No Offence – a title that gathers irony like a snowball as the show rolls on – isn’t afraid to go, on top of masturbation, the toilet, up here, down there, clits, Down’s, death by dog? Well, Deering calls her own boss, Detective Superintendent Darren McLaren, “Obama”, which I believe has less to do with him being the boss and more to do with the colour of his skin. So throw race in there too, why not. To be fair to Deering, there is something of BO about D/Supt DM; he certainly seems to think he’s Potus anyway. “Stand these people down,” he says, whenever he wants to reduce the number of staff on a case. No Offence is bold and rude but not crude. Dark certainly, but also – as you’d expect from Abbott – vibrant, warm, rich and real. And to say it again, after all that black humour, damned serious. No kidding.

 
(Carefully remixed from the „Daily Telegraph“) 

Ob die Welt tatsaechlich noch eine neue CD mit Interpretationen bekannter John Lennon Kompositionen braucht? Seine groessten Hits sind mittlerweile Allgemeingut und auch in der Beschallung von Supermaerkten zu hoeren. Iiro Rantala, seit seiner Kindheit ein grosser Fan von John Lennons Musik – im Kinderchor hat er, wie er in den linernotes verraet, „Happy Christmas (War Is Over)“ gesungen, hat sich trotzdem daran gewagt, den von ihm ausgewaehlten Perlen unter den Lennon Kompositionen etwas Neues abzugewinnen. Und tatsaechlich: solo am Klavier (the legendary Alfred Brendel Steinway D-524780 grand piano, wie das Booklet stolz vermerkt) gewinnt Rantala dem Altbekannten tatsaechlich andere Facetten ab. „Happy Christmas (War Is Over)“ zum Beispiel dehnt sich nun in eine sechsminuetige Neufassung voller Verzierungen und Veraestellungen.

Diane, have you ever seen a deer that had run in a pick up´s windshield und stuck? It was a few days ago around midnight when I decided to get an impression of the “Sons of anarchy”. I like watching men acting in an only-men´s group. But I don´t like it for a too long time. So. When is the moment a character arises and you don´t want to stop? Jax entering the convenient store, in his black SOA California leather jacket, flicking through a children´s book. Louise sitting there on a chair, adjusting her pale green t-shirt. Body language. The way he buys a large packet of condoms. A flush of red in her face? She wants to please him. He knows it. Maybe they had a thing together. Probably not. Have you ever found something surprising in the old storage, surrounded by your teddy bear, your parents´ photo album and your first record player? Maybe a staple of a typed story written by your father you are not supposed to read. No story, but the truth. Seems to be one of the threads. At this very instant Jax begins to read it I wouldn´t have dared to knock on the door. Diane, have you ever heard the sound in the ears of your beloved next to you, at night?

Botswana Defence Force Dance Band – House of Love – Ripcord – Tuff Crew – Carcass – The James Dean Driving Experience – The Wild Swans – Public Enemy – Amayenge – Thee Hypnotics – Dub Sex

Howard Marks, a Welshman arrested in Mallorca on suspicion of masterminding a billion dollar hashish-smuggling operation, speaks from Palma prison to protest his innocence. The fourty-two-year-old admits to trafficking eight hundred kilos of hashish in 1973, but says he has no involvement with drugs since then.

Here’s an inspiring letter from John Whitmore who writes to me from Colkirk near Farkenham in Norfolk, sayin‘ in part: „When I was driving my dad’s car the other day, I got him to put on your show on the  pretext that you sometimes play jazz records if someone notable has died. Anyway, you then played Extreme Noise Terror, and after a sort of stunned silence my mum goes: „It’s a lot like Little Richard, isn’t it?“

Just in case Mrs Whitmore is listening tonight, Peel follows her son’s letter by playing ‚Vomited Anal Tract‘ by the Liverpool grindcore band Carcass, from their new album on Earache Records, Reek of Putrefaction. 

Romantiker haben sicher ihren Vorrat an Kerzen für die dunkle Jahreszeit gehortet. Zweifler glauben immer noch nicht, dass Goebel nicht der Erfinder der Glühlampe war. Und Lampenfetischisten suchen in Outletstores für Möbeldesign nach ihrem Traumobjekt.

Ich schlenderte im Gelderland durch solch eine Kippenberger Adaption und wurde den Verdacht beim Betrachten der zur Schau ausgestellten Stücke nicht los, dass hier ordentlich das Stahlrohr und die Swinglinie vom Bauhaus kopiert worden waren. Die schönen Objekte wurden unter dem Designernamen GISPEN verkauft.

In einem kleinen Museum, dem Gispen Museum, fand ich später heraus, wer Gispen war. Er lebte zu Bauhauszeiten in Rotterdam und gewann mit seiner GISO Lampe alle Designerpreise. Das war 1926. Bereits ein Jahr später erfand er die Pianolampe, die endlich für Licht über dem Notenblatt sorgte. Gispen war ein Avantgardist in der Serienproduktion von technisch hochqualfizierten Lampen. Ich sah in diesem Museum in Culemborg Lampen, die durch ihre Formen und ihre Farben, nicht durch ihr Licht, sofort positive Effekte bei mir auslösten. Im Showroom lag ein Katalog, der den Showdown dann offenlegte. GISPEN verlor vor Gericht gegen Mies van der Rohe. Er durfte die steel tube furniture erst einmal nicht in Serie geben. Einen Breuer Stuhl würde ich sofort für eine Gisolampe einwechseln.

Auf dem Bild steht sie links und strahlt in ihrer klaren Schönheit.